


All I Need

by kiyala



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aromantic, Friends With Benefits, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 02:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2605961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiyala/pseuds/kiyala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marius asks Combeferre for relationship advice because he assumes that they're dating. The problem is: they're not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Need

**Author's Note:**

> I want to give my heartfelt thanks to [Eddy](http://bornagitator.tumblr.com/) for checking this fic for me to make sure I got things right!

This whole situation arises, Combeferre reflects, all because someone decides that _he_ , of all of their friends present at the Musain, is the right person to ask for relationship advice. It's the furthest from the truth that anyone could possibly get, but Marius is giving him an earnest look, which is a nice change from the blind panic that he's spent the past fifteen minutes in. It's two days until his and Cosette's one-year anniversary and he has no idea what to do to celebrate it. Combeferre is more than a little relieved that this is not a problem he is ever going to have. 

So when Marius asks if he can ask Combeferre a personal question, he gets a lazy shrug in response and an, "If you must."

Marius' face is red and when he speaks, his words come out in a rush. "How do you and Courfeyrac celebrate your anniversaries?"

Across the room, Courfeyrac drops his mug, spilling the remainder of his coffee everywhere. Combeferre stares at Marius, certain that he must have misunderstood.

"What?"

"I'm sorry if that's crossing any boundaries," Marius stammers. "It's just that—well, Courfeyrac always gives me subtle warnings to go elsewhere whenever you come over, and I've been living with him for two years, so—"

"Marius!" Courfeyrac says, as he practically dashes across the room. He crashes into Marius' side, looping an arm around his shoulders. "Marius, my good friend. My breath of fresh air. My little lost puppy."

If possible, Marius' face goes even redder. "Are you… _not_ dating Combeferre? I thought—"

"Just an honest mistake!" Courfeyrac interrupts breezily. "Totally understandable! It's fine. It's absolutely fine."

Except, Combeferre realises, his stomach twisting unpleasantly, it's not fine at all. Not when he can see the blush on Courfeyrac's face and the discomfort in his eyes. Not when he can put two and two together and come up with what Courfeyrac very carefully isn't saying. 

Courfeyrac turns to Combeferre reluctantly and if anything, the discomfort in his expression changes to outright _pain_.

"I'm just…" Courfeyrac begins, but doesn't finish, simply turning around and leaving the room, which has suddenly fallen silent. Enjolras makes an aborted movement to follow, but stops himself and glances in Combeferre's direction instead.

"I'm sorry," Marius squeaks, looking so upset that Combeferre stays in his seat just a moment longer.

"Like Courfeyrac said, it was an honest mistake. Excuse me."

Courfeyrac must know that Combeferre is going to follow him, so he can't have gone very far. Walking out of the Musain, Combeferre looks around and spots Courfeyrac by his bright scarf, down the street. He doesn't move as Combeferre approaches, looking like he's frozen in his tracks. Combeferre stands there, hands in his pockets, as he tries to figure out what to say.

"Go on, then." Courfeyrac's voice has a slight tremble to it. Combeferre hates himself for being the reason for it. "Say it."

"Say what?"

" _We need to talk_." Courfeyrac isn't looking into his eyes, isn't looking anywhere in Combeferre's direction at all. "That's how it starts, right?"

"Courfeyrac…"

"Or maybe _we should sit down_. That works too, right?" A laugh bubbles out of Courfeyrac and it sounds unhappy. Broken-hearted.

Combeferre can't have this conversation out in the open, not like this. He takes his hand out of his pocket, reaching for Courfeyrac's shoulder as if he's a spooked animal. Courfeyrac doesn't quite flinch away, but it's a close thing.

"Can we walk?" Combeferre asks, because he has no idea how to do this, but he knows that he doesn't want to do it sitting down.

Courfeyrac nods, his shoulders stiff as he follows Combeferre. Again, he's the first to speak. "I'm sorry. I knew that it was just sex— _know_ that it's just sex. I shouldn't have gotten carried away and… and you don't want to date me and that's fine, that's perfectly fine, and I'm sorry Marius put you in that position—"

"Courfeyrac," Combeferre interrupts gently. There's no other way for him to say this, not without making Courfeyrac think he's being rejected. That's not what Combeferre wants at all. "I'm aromantic."

"…Oh." It has the opposite effect to what Combeferre intended. Courfeyrac blinks, his lips trembling. "So, you don't—"

"I love you," Combeferre tells him quietly. "Platonically. But I still love you more than I've ever loved anyone else, maybe with the exception of Enjolras, and even that feels different. He's like a brother to me. You're… not. I don't know how else to explain it. I'm sorry that I can't give you what you want. I would, if I could, but that probably doesn't help. I'm sorry."

"Okay." Courfeyrac takes a deep breath, rubbing both hands over his face. Combeferre can't help but notice the way he quickly swipes at the corners of his eyes. He takes another deep breath before he opens his eyes, looking directly at Combeferre for the first time since the beginning of this conversation. "Okay, okay. For starters, I want you to stop apologising. You haven't done anything wrong. Does anyone else know that you're aromantic?"

Combeferre shakes his head. He's never even said it aloud until just then, but he decides that perhaps Courfeyrac doesn't need to know that. It's not going to help.

"Enjolras?"

"I haven't spoken to anyone about it. Except for you, now. I should have told you before, but I was still working it out, I'm sorry—"

"Again with the apologies." Courfeyrac laughs, soft and fond. "I need you to answer this honestly, though. Has anything we've done ever made you uncomfortable?"

"No," Combeferre replies immediately. "Never."

"You don't mind kissing?" Courfeyrac asks. "Even when we're not in bed? I know you don't like doing it in public, but when we're alone—"

"I definitely don't mind kissing you," Combeferre reassures him with a small smile. "It's just… the dating thing. I don't think I can do that."

"Okay." Courfeyrac sounds calmer than before, and a little thoughtful. "Hear me out on this, for a second."

Combeferre nods slowly.

"We spend a lot of time together," Courfeyrac points out. "We go to movies together, we go out to eat together. They're not dates, but… we go out a lot, right? And that's okay with you?"

"Of course."

"And we have really, _really_ good sex, and you're okay with physical affection, right? Not just with me, but with everyone because let's face it, we're a pretty tactile bunch."

Combeferre grins. "We are. And yeah, I'm okay with that."

"And I love you," Courfeyrac says plainly. He's never said it before, but there's no ceremony to it. "I'm _in love_ with you. And you might not feel the same, but—"

"I still love you," Combeferre interrupts. "I still care."

" _Exactly_." Courfeyrac smiles, like Combeferre's just made his point for him. "That's all I want. We don't have to date. I just want to keep… this. All of this. Is that okay with you?"

"But Courfeyrac…" Combeferre frowns. "What if that's not going to be enough?"

Courfeyrac shakes his head. "I don't need flowers, or extravagant dates, or any of that."

"Yes you do," Combeferre replies. "You love grand gestures."

"I might," Courfeyrac agrees, "but that doesn't mean I _need_ any of that. If I had to pick between that and what I have with you, it's absolutely no contest."

"This is enough for you?"

Courfeyrac laughs quietly. "It's not a question of being _enough_ , and don't you dare think of yourself like that ever again. You're more than enough. What we have is everything I want. Do you remember the end of last semester, when you finished your exams two days before me? I came home from my last exam to find you on my couch with chocolate and Disney movies. That was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. You _know_ how happy I was that day."

Combeferre smiles, still pleased with himself for it. "Yes I do."

"I'm happy with this. I'm _ecstatic_ with this. I want to set some boundaries so I don't end up making you feel uncomfortable, but I want to keep this, if that's what you want too."

"I do," Combeferre replies immediately. "What kind of boundaries are you thinking of?"

"That's completely up to you," Courfeyrac says, "but I'm going to hazard a guess that you don't really want me to refer to you as my boyfriend."

"Perhaps not," Combeferre agrees. "I'm happy to be your partner, though. I think that's enough to state that we… mean a lot to each other."

Courfeyrac beams. " _Partners_. I like it."

"And I'm happy to buy you flowers if that will make _you_ happy. I just… don't need you to do it back, okay?"

"How about this," Courfeyrac suggests. "How about we celebrate… anything we want to celebrate, with cupcakes instead of flowers? We can share them, and they'll probably taste better anyway. They don't need to be associated with anything romantic. Just something that makes us happy. Because I'm always happy when I'm with you."

"So am I." Combeferre smiles at him. "Cupcakes it is."

Courfeyrac gives him a sly grin in reply. "I can't wait to take you to the next function my parents throw, just so I can introduce you to people as my _special friend_."

Combeferre snorts, bumping their sides together. "You're awful."

Courfeyrac bumps him in return, clearing his throat. "Can I hold your hand?"

"We always held hands before," Combeferre replies, holding his out for Courfeyrac. "You're going to have to bear with me, while we work this out, okay? I'm comfortable with you, so maybe I'm comfortable with more than I would be if I was with someone else. If it's confusing for you… well, at least you'll know that it's just as confusing for me?"

Squeezing Combeferre's hand tightly, Courfeyrac grins up at him. "We'll work it out, though. We're pretty great like that."

"Yeah." Combeferre gives Courfeyrac a fond look. "We are."

**Author's Note:**

> Happy aromantic awareness week!
> 
> Title from Say (All I Need) by OneRepublic.


End file.
